A CUSTOMER CAME INTO THE STORE WITH THIS BEAUTY TODAY AND I SQUEALED A LOT
Anonymous said: How do two girls have sex?
It’s a very serious process. First, you have to clear the area of all things religious. If there is a cross anywhere within a 100 foot radius, Jesus will know what you’re doing and you’ll go to hell immediately. Once that’s done, you must play Tegan and Sara on repeat. Before you begin the sex, you both must pray the goddess Ellen and receive her blessing. Then comes the main event. Start with the pussy. You each must find a cat to pet in unison. After awhile of that comes the scissoring. You’ll take turns cutting each other’s hair until you both have achieved Justin Bieber’s 2009 ‘do. To finish, watch an episode of The L Word together.
Post-it Notes Left on the Train
Writer and illustrator October Jones, the creative genius behind Text From Dog and these funny train commute doodles, is at it again with these hilarious motivational post-it notes that he leaves on the train and in other random places.The upbeat doodles, which star Jones’ adorable character Peppy the Inspirational Cat, convey positive and funny messages meant to motivate daily commuters. Whether you’re feeling the Monday blues or in need of some encouragement, Jones’ delightful post-it notes are sure to brighten your day and remind you just how awesome you are.
instead of watching the 50 Shades trailer, why not just make awkward eye contact with a total stranger at the grocery store for a solid 2 minutes and 34 seconds? you get the same skin-crawling, uncomfortable feeling but without the shitty writing, terrible acting and massive dose of rape culture
bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart
how the fuck do you cheat at jenga
ask a lesbian
this is never not funny